A Baker's Dozen of Movies!

Here's a fun one that I've pulled off once in the past.  How it goes:

1)  Someone comes up with a topic or theme, then throws out a movie which fits that topic or theme.  That movie becomes the first on the list.
2)  Someone else adds a second movie which fits that topic or theme.
3)  The various someones and someone elses take turns adding movies which fit that topic or theme, right up until the list is filled with thirteen movies.  (A baker's dozen.  Get it?)
4)  Whoever finishes the list by adding the thirteenth movie to to it then opens a new topic or theme, then starts the new list with the first movie. Rinse and repeat, ad infinitum.


So someone might start a list like this:

Movies Featuring Red Widgets
1.  Widget: The Gathering


Then, someone else adds his or her contribution:

Movies Featuring Red Widgets
1.  Widget: The Gathering
2.  The Red Widget Cometh


And then, eleven turns later:

Movies Featuring Red Widgets
1.  Widget: The Gathering
2.  The Red Widget Cometh
3.  The Day the Widget Stood Still
4.  Dungeons & Widgets
5.  Enter the Widget
6.  Twelve Angry Widgets
7.  Red Widget Rising
8.  Doodad White and the Seven Widgets
9.  Widget Runner
10.  Junk Wars, Episode IV: A New Widget
11.  Harry Whatchamacallit and the Sorcerer's Widget
12.  Red Widgets from the Edge
13.  Widgets in Love

Movies Starring Jimmy Dibbles
1.  Jimmy Dibbles Conquers the World


...and then we can deep-six the previous list and move onward:

Movies Starring Jimmy Dibbles
1.  Jimmy Dibbles Conquers the World
2.  Jimmy Dibbles Wins an Oscar


And so on.  It's more fun than Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, with half the stupidity and (hopefully) none of the furtive Googling!  


Dem Rulez:

1)  The movie must have actually existed for full public viewing at some point.  Whether launched cinematically, produced for -- and aired on -- television or released directly to VHS, DVD or other playable media format, the movie must have been made available to the public at some point.  Unlaunched "concept movies" are ineligible for this game.  Movies which are presently in production don't count.  Movies which were aborted mid-production don't count (and I'm still choking down my disappointment, Preacher movie starring James Marsden!).  So is the goofy cast-of-one movie that you filmed for your college-level Film and Literature class.  Live plays -- from high school Drama class to Broadway -- don't count (though live plays which later became movies do count).  Puppet shows in the town square don't count.  And no, there aren't actually any "red widget" movies.  It was a hypothetical example.  Trust me on this.  

2)  The topic or theme chosen must actually have more than twelve movies which fit it.  Common sense, right?  Broader topics are good.  Extremely narrow or limited topics are bad.  You can easily come up with thirteen movies which fit "Movies Set in World War II".  "Movies Starring Toby Froud"?  Good luck finding thirteen of those movies.  Labyrinth.  That's it.  David Bowie lives, damn it!

But it's not always possible to foresee that the topic you've chosen doesn't include a full baker's dozen of movies.  Any time three or more players (possibly including the topic's picker him- or herself) post "I give up," the topic-picker must scrap the current list and choose a new topic.  We wouldn't want to hang the game over a stumper or a dead-end topic, would we?

3)  No player may take two or more consecutive turns.  Give everyone else a chance to contribute, will you?

4)  Minimize the Googling, please.  Yeah, I know: We all get stuck sometimes.  But let's be sporting and keep Google and IMDb as last resorts, not first measures.  You're on your honor here.

5)  Sequels, prequels, spin-offs and remakes must all defer to the original installment of that series, and thus may not be counted individually.  Imagine how a list might turn out if this rule didn't exist:

Movies in which a Chainsaw Appears:
1.  The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
2.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
3.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
4.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 remake)
5.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
6.  Texas Chainsaw 3D

Holy filler, Batman!  Let's not do that, okay?  If "Movies in which Luke Skywalker Appears" is the topic, we can only toss in "Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope", the first released movie in the series in which Luke Skywalker appears.  Hence, Revenge of the Sith, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens must all defer to A New Hope and thus may not be included in the list.  And out of respect to Rule #2 as well, let's not even touch the topic of "Movies in which Luke Skywalker Appears" either.

6)  ...with certain reasonable exceptions.  If a sequel, prequel, spin-off or remake brings something new or unique to the franchise, it may be counted on its own merits and thus need not defer to the original, so long as that "something" applies to the topic at hand.  If the topic is "Movies Starring R. Lee Ermey", then yes, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 remake) would be a worthy entry.  R. Lee Ermey starred in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.  He did not star in the original 1974 release.  So the original movie would not be appropriate for this topic.  Similarly, "Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell-with-a-Capital-H" could include Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (but not the original Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure), and "Movies in which a Cyborg Appears" could include "Jason X" but could not include every Friday the 13th movie before it.

(Of course, R. Lee Ermey also starred in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, so The Beginning would default to the 2003 remake and thus wouldn't be included.  Rule #4 still applies, even to Rule #5's exceptions.  Savvy?)


I believe that's it.  Shall we commence?  

"Since you brought it up, why don't you kick off the first Baker's Dozen, Ainsley?"  Don't mind if I do!  And since it has already been mentioned....


Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Other Theological Equivalent)
1.  Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey


Your turn!  

Can't have a movie theme about Hell without one my favorite villains being mentioned.  

2. HellRaiser

Your up Goldern Drakon.

If I recall, isn't it Pinhead himself who goes back to Hell in that movie?  I forget.

Also, may I step in?  


Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Theological Equivalent)
1.  Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2.  Hellraiser
3.  Farmhouse


...which is a surprisingly good straight-to-DVD horror movie, by the way.  I just happened to stumble across it on YouTube while I was searching for other horror movies like the Wrong Turn series, the Final Destination series and Rest Stop.  "So who goes to Hell in Farmhouse, when and why?"  That would be spoiling.  Just watch it already.  



(Suffice it to say that, if you walk up to a house in the middle of nowhere and all three people there are named after demons, you should probably make up some excuse, turn right around and get right the hell back on the road, stat!)

Who wants next?  

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.  ( In reality it should have been called the maybe, kinda of sorta, possibly but not really last Friday, because I think there have been at least five Friday the 13th movies since this one came out. )

This movie brings back memories because the first time I saw it Ansiley and I were watching it at good ole Malmstrom AFB's movie theater.

You remember well, dude!  Jason does indeed (finally) go to Hell in that one.  Freddy Krueger's hand even rips out of the ground, grabs Jason's mask and pulls it under, just to drive the point home.  

(Jason came back, of course.  Jason always comes back.  He even came back for Mortal Kombat!)


I wonder if that Malmstrom cinema's still standing.  It was next to the bowling alley, if I remember correctly.  I understand that the cinema in Great Falls (where we all piled into your Chief Basher truck and went to watch the Street Fighter movie) isn't around anymore, and the Air Force gutted Malmstrom to pull the entire Air Wing out.  I bet that they tore out my garden too.  But that cinema had better be standing to this day, damn it....


Okay, I think I got one:


Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Theological Equivalent)
1.  Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2.  Hellraiser
3.  Farmhouse
4.  Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
5.  Event Horizon


(An entire spaceship -- with full crew -- botches an experimental hyperspace jump and ends up in Hell.  Only the captain comes back, and he's not exactly sane anymore.)

("Wait a second, dude!  Didn't the Event Horizon go to Hell before the movie even started?"  Well, yes.  But 1) we're treated to some pretty flashy, nightmarish flashbacks and video footage of that delightful occasion, so we do get to see the Event Horizon's crew go to Hell in the course of the movie, and 2) let's not forget that one dude from the Lewis and Clark's crew who got sucked into a new portal to Hell, got yanked back out, tried to kill himself and was pretty much a catatonic wreck for the rest of the movie.  So there's that.  Event Horizon counts, daggit!   )

Here is one for you.  

Dumb and Dumber.

When does anybody go to Hell in Dumb and Dumber? Besides the audience, I mean. We don't count.

I glad you asked that question.  In one scene of the movie they eat at place called Dante's Inferno and as we all know Dante's Inferno in the Divine Comedy is a description of HELL.  Technically is counts.

Ha ha...oh, funny, punny you, going once again for the letter instead of the spirit.  Oh, all right.  


Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Theological Equivalent)
1.  Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2.  Hellraiser
3.  Farmhouse
4.  Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
5.  Event Horizon
6.  Dumb and Dumber
7.  Beetlejuice


(Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice/However-you-spell-it gets eaten by one of those big, weird sandworms and ends up in the crappy part of the Underworld where you have to wait in line forever.  I don't know about you, but that sounds like Hell to me!)

The House of Ainsley wrote:

Ha ha...oh, funny, punny you, going once again for the letter instead of the spirit.

Its what I do and it just happens to be something I am very good at.
Just in case I hurt you feelings I will give you a movie where someone actually goes to Hell.

Constantine

Constantine's a great one. John Constantine astrally projects himself into Hell to visit Whatserface's twin sister who went to Hell after killing herself. Fortunately, his heroic act of self-sacrifice by suicide got him off the hook when Lucifer came to drag him off to Hell in a more physical way. It's complicated. By the way, the TV series is so much truer to the comic books than this Keanu Reeves vehicle was.

Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Theological Equivalent)
1. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2. Hellraiser
3. Farmhouse
4. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
5. Event Horizon
6. Dumb and Dumber
7. Beetlejuice
8. Constantine
9. Tales from the Hood


I watched this movie with one Airman Hadley some 20 years back. The morals of the story? Never be a gangsta, never be a murdering gangsta, and never bully and/or threaten the life of the elderly undertaker at the funeral home where one of your homeboys went after getting bucked down by some other gangbangaz' gat; he might just be the Devil in disguise coming to give you a one-way ride.

The House of Ainsley wrote:

When does anybody go to Hell in Dumb and Dumber?  Besides the audience, I mean.  We don't count.  

You wanna talk about sitting through hell while watching a movie.  When my niece who passed away a couple of years ago(God rest her soul) was little I got suckered by my big brother into taking her and her other sister to see Spice World.  That was hell on Earth.  That is punishment I don't wish on my worst enemy, maybe Obozo, but not my worst enemy.  I did get a few beers out of it, but I still think I got the raw end of the deal.  Oh well on to the next movie in the chain.

Wonder Woman (2009 animated version)

Okay, I've never even seen that one.  Who got the shaft in that one?  (And considering Wonder Woman's origins in ancient Greek legend, would we be talking about Hell Hell or would we be talking about the old Greek version, Tartarus?  Because Tartarus is pretty cool, in a "poetic justice" kind of way. I'd still hate to get stuck there, though.)

Oh, wait.  I finally thought to dig up the answer to my own question:



That's the scene, right?


Anyway...

Movies in which Someone Goes to Hell (or Theological Equivalent)
1. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2. Hellraiser
3. Farmhouse
4. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
5. Event Horizon
6. Dumb and Dumber
7. Beetlejuice
8. Constantine
9. Tales from the Hood
10.  Wonder Woman (2009)
11.  Little Witches


Yeah, this movie was released around the same time as The Craft and it deserved to get curbstomped by The Craft at the box office.  Invoking the same tired old "Jesus Christ pwns witches" trope didn't help (while The Craft's "witches can police themselves just fine without your Abrahamic sky daddy's assistance, thank you very much" device was pretty newfangled), but at least it had five naked girls walking around a circle in ritual, and naked girls are great.  Anyway, the good witch turned to Jesus (of course) and confronted the leader of the naughty witches, who tried to defend herself by summoning up some demon that she couldn't put down (of course), and it dragged her down into a well which led back whence it came.  Guess where that was.

So...who wants Number 12?

Well gee, looks I missed a hellofa run.. *Badum, *Tiss!*

I'll add the TV show Supernatural. Even though I stopped watching it after the....9th season I think... You know, when they jumped the shark for like, the 17th time....

So since Drakon finished the Chain does that mean that He must start the next chain of movies?

It goes to 13....

My bad. A BAKERS DOZEN=13

1. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
2. Hellraiser
3. Farmhouse
4. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
5. Event Horizon
6. Dumb and Dumber
7. Beetlejuice
8. Constantine
9. Tales from the Hood
10.  Wonder Woman (2009)
11.  Little Witches
12. Supernatural

So I will finish is off with South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut

So since I finished the Chain I guess I have the honor of starting a new chain. This one is simple and should not take long. SPORTS COMEDIES. I'll be clear and Say SPORTS COMEDIES not SPORTS DRAMAS. Now that is cleared up.

1. BASEketball

A League of Their Own

Isn't Supernatural not a movie, though?  o_O

I would have said Warlock II: The Armageddon.  As Tiger there observed with the South Park movie, the Devil going back to Hell still counts as somebody going to Hell, even if that's where he came from in the first place.  


Oh, yes...Kenny goes to Hell too.

Ah, well.  Whatever gets this thread rolling, I guess....


Sports Comedies
1.  BASEketball
2.  A League of Their Own
3.  Balls Out / Intramural

You've never heard of it?  No surprise there.  For one, it was a Kickstarter-funded movie, so you know it's not going to get a lot of press.  For two, the producers waffled on the name, even up to the movie's release!  I mean, this movie was playing at the Walmart where I was working up until last August, and the DVD menu says that the movie's name is Intramural, while the opening scene says that the movie's name is Balls Out.  If the movie itself can't even agree with itself on what its own name is, that doesn't exactly pave the movie's road to international fame, does it?


Too bad, though; the movie itself isn't bad, and it's actually pretty funny in parts.  I got to watch it while I was shaving off little pieces of my soul as a Walmart People Greeter, right up until one of the Assistant Managers noticed that Intramural actually spits out cuss words right and left.  The movie got yanked out of the General Merchandise Entrance's DVD player pretty quickly after that.  The fact that the movie had been playing on those TVs for four or five weeks — dropping F-bombs, S-bombs and crude sexual references on random passersby — was even more hilarious than the movie itself (and in keeping with the character of our Walmart's dimwitted management).


...and Movieclips doesn't enable playback on other websites because Movieclips is a little bitch.  

Okay, who's next?  

Major League

Sports Comedies
1. BASEketball
2. A League of Their Own
3. Balls Out / Intramural
4. Major League
5. Mr. Baseball


Next!

Sports Comedies
1. BASEketball
2. A League of Their Own
3. Balls Out / Intramural
4. Major League
5. Mr. Baseball
6. The Mighty Ducks