House of Ainsley: Out-of-Character Discussion

This Sunday (during the day) is out for me. I was planning on getting you guys to come on our normal time... but Chef decided to ask me in for work and I get crap pay as it is and I need the money for my TAFE fees. So I agreed.

Sorry guys.

But Sunday Night is still an option. I think sunday night is monday morning for you guys.

Yeah, that works for me! How about you two, GD and SEAMUS?

Also, it looks like I'm out of a job for at least a day or two. A tornado hit Canton and jumped up and down a few times as it tore a swath through town. One of the places that got hit the hardest was my workplace, Chick's Chevron at the corner of Highways 19 and 20. I woke up around 5:00 PM today and got a call from Dad, saying that he'd heard about Chick's getting hit by a tornado. I didn't even know that Canton had had any tornadoes, so I ran right out to my car and got up there as quickly as I could...which wasn't easy, since the Canton police, the Grand Saline police, the Highway Patrol, the Canton Fire Department and various Canton city workers had the streets blocked off everywhere.

Still, I was hoping that the tornado had just done some minor damage...bent a signpost, tore off a canopy's light fixture, whatever. I couldn't have been that lucky. I finally got through the barricades and made my way to Chick's. The south end of the roof looks like a pack of storm giants had sat down on it. The tornado had thrown something through one of the big plate windows, which allowed the winds to go ripping right through the store, knocking over displays and throwing merchandise all over the place. The garage doors out back got smashed and my boss Tim, who was out there at the time, got lifted about 15 feet in the air and dropped on his back, but apparently he's okay despite getting chokeslammed by a tornado; we'll see if he has any aches and pains when he gets up in the morning.

Some power lines had gotten torn down all along Highway 19, our windmills and tire swing display outside were smashed up, the flagpole got bent up after the tornado grabbed a hold of Old Glory, our 35-year-old phone booth looks like about 20 heavyweight pro wrestlers had lined up to dropkick it, Barbara's tent store in the parking lot out front had gotten completely flattened, her camper trailer was flipped on its side, the 18-wheeler that's perpetually parked next to Jerry's Pizza got flipped over on its side (semi, trailer and all), Captain Jack's tire racks got slung around and emptied despite some of the tires being large truck tires that weigh 40 or 80 pounds apiece...that and more. Canton's just a big mess right now.

The funniest thing about tornadoes is how utterly random the chaos is. One of our big windows got completely smashed in and toppled the sunglasses rack, but the coffee maker and the coffee pots right in front of that window (and right next to the sunglasses rack) weren't even budged. Our big highway sign wasn't the least bit damaged, even though all the windmills, the tire swings, the phone booth, the picnic table, the trash can, the "Welcome to Canton" sign...all of these things were bunched around the highway sign's base, and all of them got destroyed, but the highway sign wasn't even scratched.

One of my friends from the theatre just sent me a text saying that he saw me on the news too. Chick's Chevron was just covered with news crews and public servants--since Chick's seems to have caught the worst of Mother Nature's rampage--and one of the cameramen zeroed in on me while I was helping the crowd bag up the clothes from the demolished tent store and load the bags into Barbara's truck. So I got on the news, even though I could certainly think of better ways to get my face on TV. I didn't get interviewed, though; Pam (one of my coworkers, who was on duty when the tornado hit) got interviewed, as did my bosses Tim and Terry.

Now more than ever I really wish my digicam still worked, but at least my scanner still works. Once the newspapers come out with coverage of Chick's Chevron getting ruined and the tornado cutting its big path of destruction through town, I'll scan some articles and post them for y'all. It's just amazing that I slept through the whole thing, and it was certainly one of the absolute last things that I'd ever expect to wake up to.

But, however bad the damage is, it's still very assuring to see that times like this do have a way of bringing out the best in people, especially in a small town like Canton. It's like everyone's one big family here. I just spent about four hours and fifteen minutes picking up debris and bagging damaged property and merchandise for the insurance adjustors, and in that time we had more and more people just walk on up to lend a hand, even folks that we barely knew, folks who work for our competitors at Shell and Captain Jack's and Circle K...everyone just came together and chipped in however they could. I don't think I'd ever see anything like that if I had stayed back in St. Louis, with all its Big City people and Big City ways. I remember not wanting to leave St. Louis and come to Canton when Dad pitched the offer to me years ago, but now I wish I had come down here years ago when he first offered. Canton doesn't have all of St. Louis' super-high-speed internet or super-fancy restaurants or shopping malls or public transportation or other Big City conveniences, but the nobler, more unified and more charitable quality of the people here far more than make up for that.

Anyway, I'm about to head back up to Chick's to see if Tim and Terry need me for anything else. I'd normally be at work right now, but I just can't stay away even though they gave me the night off. I'd offered to come in anyway, even just to flex my ex-security guard skills and keep any looters away, but they refused...which makes sense. It's Canton. We don't have any looters here, especially since everyone knows everyone else and we all try to look out for each other. This tornado strike is irrefutable proof of that.

See ya when I get back. I have a whole night to work on the House of Ainsley threads after that, and I'll probably have tomorrow night as well. We'll see what I can accomplish now that I'm temporarily unemployed, eh?

Also, that Seventh Sanctum site has some nice random name generators, but Chaotic Shiny has some nifty generators too. Here is a generator for turning English into some fictitious language (one like Sylvea has already heard from that shouting, tides-of-madmen-fighting frost giant; I didn't use this generator for those giant rants, but I probably should have...), here is one for generating random shops and merchants, and here is one for generating crude maps of towns and cities on the fly.

They also have this motto generator. It kind of works, I guess, but it also proves that for the really crucial names and such in your campaign, you should place complete trust in your own imagination. I don't think that I would have trusted the motto for this campaign's Ainsley Coat of Arms ("Laurifer Ultra Mors", or "Victorious Beyond Death" in English and the Common tongue) to some random number generator. I think I chose wisely. Don't you?

...and I just remembered that both GD and Wraith are cooks, chefs and/or experienced food preparers. So whatever stuff that I just pulled out of my bunghole in describing all that meat in Corwin's latest update...yeah, those two are probably reading it and laughing at me. "Can you believe he came up with that? Thick bacon in black pepper and flax oil? Doesn't he know that would make your bacon taste like sawdust? What a culinary noob he is...."

Yeah, yeah, you two. Laugh it up. I never claimed to be a master butcher or chef, you know. I can barely manage a simple salmon steak with lemon juice. I just went with whatever sounded good. Leave me alone.

So how many HoA posts in a row is this now? Sorry. Somebody else can talk now. I'm feeling sleepy anyway; cleaning up all that debris really took a lot out of me, I guess.

And I'm back and caught up now. Hi, GD! I see you peeking.

Also, behold: the Cosmic Clock!



At some points in the campaign, player-characters may find themselves in a race against time. The archenemy's getting away, the demonic cult's on the verge of completing a dark ritual, a meteor's about to crash into the tower they're standing in, whatever. Well, the Cosmic Clock--or Cosmic Hourglass, whatever--marks the amount of time left until that event (or events, in the case of multiple events or a chain of events) takes place.


Corwin > Hopes that the wind picks up soon...
Karnoz > Throws daggers at the iceberg
Sylvea > Attempts to Rebuke the iceberg


The wind doesn't pick up any.
The iceberg has a few daggers sticking out of it now.
The attempt to Rebuke the iceberg fails. It's not an undead iceberg, just a regular iceberg that broke off an ice shelf somewhere.

Corwin > Plays a few rounds of Rock Paper Scissors with Karnoz and Sylvea
Karnoz > Plays a few rounds of Rock Paper Scissors with Corwin and Sylvea
Sylvea > Plays a few rounds of Rock Paper Scissors with Corwin and Karnoz


Karnoz wins all three rounds. Corwin and Sylvea come to suspect that Karnoz is cheating....

Corwin > Accuses Karnoz of cheating
Karnoz > Denies all allegations of cheating
Sylvea > Accuses Karnoz of cheating


Karnoz's defense attorney spends two rounds making complete mincemeat out of Corwin's arguments. And though Sylvea makes an excellent case, the charges don't stick.
It appears that the iceberg wishes to add its own testimony, however....

Corwin > Wishes he'd thought to go with a Full Coverage Ship Insurance plan
Karnoz > Attempts to hide from the iceberg
Sylvea > Prepares to cast Cure Serious Wounds on the ship


KRRRRNNNNNNSSSCHHHHH!!! CRACK CRACK splinter crumble bloop bloop bloop....


Something like that. Think it'll work?

Ok, ...now that was funny.

GoldenDrakon wrote:

Ok, ...now that was funny.

Oh, you're just saying that because Karnoz dominates at Rock Paper Scissors.

So have you given any thought to that calling card question yet? If he's the calling-card-leaving type of assassin, I'm sure you could think of a pretty cool calling card. I know you that well, right?

I did see that post, and no Karnoz does not have a calling card, but there is a little theater in him....

There is no counterplanning for a perfectly executed somersault. It makes you completely invulnerable to absolutely everything. Haven't you ever played Mortal Kombat?

...and Microsoft's trying to dump another Windows XP security update on my head again, my AVG's running its usual midnight scan and the whole thing's bogging my computer down and making my Windows Media Player skip like hell.

I'll be back. Friggin' Windows memory leaks....

Wraith wrote:

But Sunday Night is still an option. I think sunday night is monday morning for you guys.

I work Monday mornings.

I'm back.

So what about Saturday night/Sunday morning? Would that work out for all of us? Or have we covered that time already?

Tomorrow night should be alright for me. Its currently Friday night here. 7:38pm to be exact. If you want to meet up, that's fine. I'll probably be home by about seven. Though I can't spend too much time on Gametable cos I've gotta work on Sunday now. Which means a 6:30 start. *poo*

A couple of hours should be alright though.

Oh, first I catch GD online, now you. Hiya!

Hey...look in on that Party thread just a moment and tell me if those moon pics have gold-colored frames like the Season pics do, will you? Something seems buggy with my graphics cache on my end for some reason.

EDIT: Aw, nevermind. I'm too slow on the draw again. I'll catch you another time, eh?

Sorry I ran out so quickly and yes, they do have gold coloured borders

I'll wait around tonight for a little while. Make dinner and keep checking on the comp to see if Gametable applies tonight.

ok, i thought you had meant morning like as in 7:00 am our time, 1:55am Central US time is way too late for me.

So, GD...I've been thinking. Since you came into D&D 3rd Edition without being aware of what the Innuendo skill is or how it works, maybe I should extend the same opportunity to you which I gave SEAMUS back when he realized that Profession: Sailor was a skill vital to his character and that he probably needed to go back and pick it up...namely, just chop a few points off of one or more Skills that you haven't used yet (seeing as this is still the Prologue chapter, and the characters are still just spreading their roots here) and investing those points into Innuendo instead.

As I'd mentioned before, the way it works now is that, unlike in previous editions of D&D, Thieves Cant is no longer treated like a bona fide language. This makes sense because, unlike actual languages, Thieves Cant is not set in stone; it's a clandestine form of communication involving contemporary slang, double entendres, code phrases, subtle body language, and gestures that might be considered medieval "gang signs". And a slangy, gesturing expression which meant one thing five years ago might mean something completely different now. Thieves Cant isn't a consistent language because it can't afford to be a consistent language, not if the criminal element wants to stay one step ahead of the law. The whole point of Thieves Cant, as you already know, is to keep outsiders in the dark, and the local City Watch is about as "outsider" as they come. So by tinkering with the Cant every now and then, the scoundrels keep the lawmen guessing. Not that the lawmen don't have their own Innuendo-packing insiders keeping tabs on the local Thieves Guild anyway, but Thieves Cant at least keeps the constables from doing too much damage to the Thieves Guilds, Assassins Guilds, crime families, bands of robbers, unscrupulous merchants and other such underworld alliances.

But Thieves Cant is but one secret code language covered by Innuendo (albeit the most common code language applied to the skill). Innuendo also covers any number of other secret code languages employed by other secretive organizations--from trade unions to spy networks to warring barbarian tribes to necromancer cabals to depraved doomsday cults--and a worldly enough Rogue is bound to pick up on some snippets of those code languages as well.

For example, some Monks and their monasteries convey secret missives through the Language of Flowers, in which a flower or a specific floral arrangement may signify a specific message between those in the know. Monks gain mastery in their arts through centering themselves and attaining inner calm, and mellowing crafts such as gardening come quite naturally to them; this also provides an ideal cover for their Language of Flowers.

Let's say that a gaggle of peasants see one monk give a bouquet of flowers--three red roses flanking a lone tiger lily--to another monk. The peasants will think "How nice, the monks are giving pretty flowers to each other"...while remaining completely unaware that the giver just told the receiver "You are being followed by someone who wishes to do you harm". But if the assassin who's stalking the latter monk sees the bouquet change hands--and if his Innuendo doesn't fail him--he too will recognize the message for what it is; realizing that the monks are now aware of his presence and his intentions, the assassin backs off and waits for a better opportunity to pursue his quarry.

And, just like Thieves Cant changes from time to time, so does the monks' Language of Flowers, or the local beast-worshipper cult's Chiropteran Tongue, or a necromancer cabal's Bone Language, or a ranger and druid circle's code language consisting of bird calls and other mimicked animal noises. With a high enough Innuendo rank, the eavesdropping Rogue may be familiar enough with any given code language to immediately recognize what he does know and intuitively fill in the blanks for whatever he doesn't recognize. A character with an Innuendo of 1 might have picked up a few interesting slang phrases over several beers at the town's shadiest tavern, while a character with an Innuendo of 20 or more has been all over the world, rubbing shoulders with all kinds of secret organizations; he might even know a few of these secret organizations better than they know themselves.

So, anyway, that's Innuendo in a rather large nutshell. Care to take me up on this one-time offer, GD?

and you can hint that you want that hort chick to come up to your room to check out your etchings

S.E.A.M.U.S wrote:

and you can hint that you want that hort chick to come up to your room to check out your etchings

Oh, shush up and ogle your new pog, you!

The House of Ainsley wrote:

So, anyway, that's Innuendo in a rather large nutshell. Care to take me up on this one-time offer, GD?

I think I will actually,

I will take two from Forgery and one from Use Magical Devices to have a 3 in Innuendo.

Done and done. Should we assume that Karnoz simply couldn't quite make out whatever Thieves Canty stuff that gnome girl was saying? She may pop up again....

Works for me... I have enough on my plate as it is right now.

You also have a rather nice ring, and you can thank my virtual Gametable dice for that. It would have been worth over 1,500 if I hadn't double-checked my work and realized that I was consulting the wrong random treasure table, too....

*finishes deducting 5 Gold from--and adding 250 Experience to--Karnoz's "account" in the Party thread*

It's sure nice to have that Party thread around, isn't it? Of course, we should still be updating our own paper character sheets and such, but the Party thread sure is nice for looking those things up quickly.

*gathers pics and resources for another new resource thread....*

There you go, GD. I figured that since you were here and Wraith wasn't, I should probably handle Karnoz first. Are you ready for some rapid-fire posting tonight?